I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
