I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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