I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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