How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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