And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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