I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
