You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
