AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
