I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize