Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
