His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
