omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
