Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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