My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize