He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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