what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
