You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
