i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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