I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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