Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
