38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
