is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
These tits shall not be calmed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
