My liver just broke up with me...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize