do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize