i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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