he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
