The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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