I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
