Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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