Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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