You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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