your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
