Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
