erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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