We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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