all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize