Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
