She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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