You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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