My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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