i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
