Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
