I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
