Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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