dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
