i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
