i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
