I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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