You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
