i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
