I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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