I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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