can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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