Heybabeimwearingurpanties
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
