I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize