why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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