There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
