True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
