Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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