well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
