And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
