Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
