i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
