lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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