we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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