I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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